Never underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, everyone hurts. Some just hide it better than others.
Everyone gets hurt in a way or another. It is part of the human nature I guess, we all long for appreciation, love and togetherness. Recently there was one incident that made me feel really upset. I remember I was in the shower and Kelvin asked me why do I look so upset, than I told him that today I asked a friend about how she thinks about my blog and I wanted to see if there is anything I can do better or even starting to discuss what kind of content she would want me to write about. A pretty good friend I would say. And she replied “I am not really interested in the topic you are blogging about. And also, I don’t really read. I am not good in reading…”
I would say I am a really cool person. But after hearing this, my heart sinks… And after hearing my story, Kelvin said to me, “She doesn’t know that it will hurt you when she said that. So don’t take it seriously okay?”
I don’t know… She is one of the closest friend I have and I value her opinions and she just acts like she doesn’t even care. So that night, I figure out that I am left with 2 options.
Never talk to her again! Confront her?
Tell her that I am upset because of what she said. Reveal my feelings and tell her that I ask her because I value her and wish she would do the same to me. Friends are supposed to encourage each other, not act like you don’t care. Even if you don’t read my blog, I am perfectly fine with that, just compliment on the designs that I have spent hours working on and tell me to keep writing. I would be deeply moved… And if she agree and apologize, we are still good friend; but if she defend herself and call me a whiner or a complain queen, I’ll NEVER EVER talk to her again!!
Option 2: Shape the truth.
This is one of the skills that I’ve learned in Landmark Forum. Everything that happens around us are not true, what makes them real is the meaning that we (ourselves) give. For example, it occurs to me as “she doesn’t like me at all”, but in fact, what she said is just “I am not really interested in the topic you are blogging about. And also, I don’t really read. I am not good in reading…”. And that could mean she likes my blog, just that she doesn’t read well and she is not into the topics that I chose. She might be interested in other topics which I don’t like? And she would still recommend my blog to those whom she thinks will enjoy reading And she might be already doing it, that’s why the readership has been increasing. And after all, she is still a lovely friend who cares for me, my feelings and my life!
I will never ever find out what she really means. And I have no way to know about it. To make myself feel better, I chose option 2. To me, the contentment and happiness is all that really matters.
Everyone gets hurt. So the next time when you feel hurt, think of this 2 options. And you will realize the key to your inner happiness lies right in your hand.