It’s one week till Chinese New Year, beside buying new clothes, a lot of new daughter-in-laws are going to spend the festive season with their in-laws soon. So, I have come out with a “survival guide at in-laws” for all of you for reference. *Wink Wink* Haha…
1. Bring presents for everyone.
Everyone loves to be remembered and appreciated and it doesn’t has to be something expensive or impressive. Bring some thoughtful presents for your parents-in-laws and your cute nephews or nieces to show them you care and miss them dearly.
2. Help on the house chores.
I know how much you hate ruining your expensive manicure. But helping on the house chores is part of your responsibility as a daughter-in-law. Honour your in-laws by offering your contribution to make the house looks neat and clean. Even better, you can help on the CNY decoration of the house and making it look great!
3. Serve the dinner.
My mum always tell me this, if you can’t cook, make sure you are the one serving. The benefits of serving food are, you always get to serve the best part of the chicken or the fish to your favourite person and when there’s dish that you less fancy of, you can always serve it to someone else… Kekeke…
4. When someone asks about when you are going to have a baby?
You can just smile and tell them, We love children. There’s no need to announce to the world that you don’t want to have any kids yet or you are trying various ways to treat infertility.
5. Speak fondly of your better half.
When you are with your husband’s family, it’s the right and wise way to speak fondly of him. Tell his family about what a good man he is and how he treats you and your family. Tell his relatives about his recent promotion and the great prospect he is having. It makes them feel so proud of him and consequently, he is happy. When husband is happy, you are happy.
6. Be nice to your sister(s)-in-law.
Due to the natural closeness between mother and daughter, your sister(s)-in-law becomes very influential to your mother-in-law. So if she doesn’t like you, you mother-in-law doesn’t like you. If she likes you, it’s almost definite that your mother-in-law likes you. So, in whatever that you do, remember to be nice to your sister-in-law!
Champagne Princess Dress :: MysteryLand
7. Show your thoughtfulness.
Accompany your in-laws to the Chinese New Year shopping, prepare new notes for them for the Ang Pow, buy their favouite cookies and help according to their needs. Nobody enjoy the company of selfish people, so be thoughtful and caring!
8. Spend time listening.
Everyone has a story to tell if you are willing to listen. Try to form a deeper relationship with your husband’s family by listening to them and acknowledge what they have to say. You never know you might learn something new, get inspired and develop a better relationship with them.
9. Never complain.
Even if you feel uneasy/offended/criticized/left out/etc…, never ever, I repeat, NEVER EVER complain about your in-laws to your husband. It is very unwise to do so. Remember, family is family. There is this Chinese saying, Blood is thicker than water. Imagine you husband is a branch growing on a big tree. And this big tree and other branches represents the family. When you try to hurt the tree or chop of the branches from the tree, the branch feels hurt and will eventually die off when he left the tree. So, if you really wants to see a positive change in your relationship with your in-laws, water the tree with patient, kindness and love. And when the tree prospers, your branch prospers and so does you!
10. Do not “hide” in the room.
A lot of time I heard mothers-in-law complain about their daughter-in-law always “hide” in the room. Well, I know it is really awkward when you have nothing to do and don’t know what to say when you are at your in-laws place. It is completely normal that you just want to lock yourself in the room updating your facebook/instagram and watch your favourite drama. Most girls tend to stay in their own room to “avoid” unnecessary contact with their husbands’ families and thus prevent any conflicts or awkwardness… But it is not the way to improve relationship! Try to be present and get involved. See it as your little “Happiness Project” and work on it. I understand that sometimes you need to do things that you don’t enjoy, but have faith that it will eventually contributes to a greater happiness for yourself.
Chinese New Year is the time to have reunion with family members and cherish the relationship and bonds between each other. If you just got married, it is normal that you are worry about getting along well with the in-laws. Always keep in mind that there’s no right way or wrong way in doing anything, the way your family does it might be different from his family. So what you need to do is to observe and embrace the differences.
I hope you find this survival guide useful and remember, love is the principal. When your love is overflowing, it blinds you from all the differences and conflicts.
Whenever you are this Chinese New Year, I wish you a prosperous and happy new year. I hope all of you got to spend quality time with your family and loved ones.
Thank you so much for reading and Happy Chinese New Year!!
XOXO Eryn ❤